Katy Hamilton

This weekend, I’m at the Royal Musical Association’s Annual Conference, which is taking place in the smart surroundings of Milton Court, part of the Guildhall School of Music and Drama. It’s always a very rich event – since it’s not a specialist conference (one of the few such general gatherings still around), the variety of papers is always impressive, and it’s as much a chance to learn about something entirely new as it is to catch up on the latest developments in your own discipline.

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that the coffee breaks and bar stops of a conference are the bits where all the best conversations happen. This is the opportunity to get to speak to people whose work you’ve always loved but never been able to tell; to meet others working in a related area who you might never have come across before; and to just find those folks who you really seem to click with, whether that’s to do with their research area, their views on higher education, or their snappy puns.

Of course, in order to have all those magical conversations, you actually have to go and talk to the people.

Now, you may think that because of my witty and insightful blogging, my mass of career hats and my ever-growing pool of Twitter followers that I’m a gregarious, extroverted sort. Actually, this is not the case at all – which is why I’ve just moved out of London to a place where I can spend more time on my own. However, just because you aren’t the sort of person who prefers to spend every scene in their life with an additional cast of thousands, it doesn’t actually mean that you can’t do the networking thing… which is, after all, a crucial means of getting known in your line of work, whatever that line of work might be. So, speaking as someone who has a very definite time limit when it comes to how long I can be in the company of large numbers of humans, here are a few tips.

1. It’s not a competition. Say you are indeed a humanities researcher of some description, and you’re at a conference. There is no goal here in terms of the number of people you have to meet, or how ‘important’ they need to be. If you make the point of networking quite simply one of meeting interesting people, rather than ‘the right’ people (whoever they are), then it can be a much less stressful thing. Maybe you only come across one person you really get on with. That’s fine. That’s one more interesting person than you knew before, right?
2. Start with hello. Yes, I now sound like a dating website. But seriously – if you spend all your time thinking of a witty opening gambit and panicking that you’ll screw it up, you’re not going to get very far. Just go and say hello, and introduce yourself. I usually end up asking pretty quickly if someone is presenting or just there to listen. That’ll immediately give you more to talk about, however they answer.
3. Badges are only so helpful. At most conferences, we’re all provided with nice shiny name badges. Generally they either have pins on the back that make irreparable holes in your shirt/jacket/jumper, or they’re on lanyards which you subsequently end up wearing into town afterwards and wondering why people are pointing and laughing at you. Also, they are usually never quite readable from where you’re standing. So don’t try to stare surreptitiously at someone’s left breast to find out who they are. As above: just start with hello.
4. It’s ok to speak to famous people. We’re talking conferences here, so I mean in the sense of ‘in your discipline’ rather than ‘like Emma Thompson’. (Though I’m sure she’d be utterly charming if you did.) But why not? If you admire their work, go and tell them. If they’re there to give the keynote and you loved it, let them know. Generally, we all like to hear people saying nice things to us. And if you have a question, or related topic, so much the better!
5. You won’t be the only one feeling lost. I guarantee you that however much your eyes automatically filter the room to only see the people who are laughing and joking like they’ve known each other since kindergarten, there will be plenty of others who are similarly unsure of themselves and might not know many people (or indeed anyone else) at the conference. So remember you’re not alone. Seek out a fellow worried-looking person – you can reassure each other that you’re neither of you impostors and it’s ok to approach others. Promise. I did that for several conferences when I was a postgrad and made some excellent friends from it.
6. You are capable of whole sentences, and they make sense and everything! I mentioned the word ‘impostor’ a minute ago. That’s because impostor syndrome is remarkably common amongst academics, whether they’re undergrads, postgrads, or lecturers. The majority of people are not trying to trip you up, or make you look stupid in public, or out to pick holes in your argument (whether you’re giving a paper or just chatting over coffee). You’ve studied things, and read things, and drawn conclusions, and are probably doing rather well to have either been selected for the conference to present, or have the courage to just go along and see how one works. Trust that. You’re not an impostor. No one knows everything, and that’s ok.

And crucially – and this really is the big one:

7. Some people are asses. Yup, there it is. Just now and then, you might come across the senior professor who is so full of their own self-importance that they feel the need to put everyone else down, be dismissive of compliments, ridicule colleagues’ work, and ask nit-picky questions at the end of papers. I’m sorry about them. There aren’t too many, if it’s any consolation. But the point is: if they’re an ass to you, that is all them. It’s no reflection on you, and if you happen to meet one without realising what you’re getting into, then remember it’s nothing you did. As previously mentioned, they’re the ass. They tend to be relatively well-known in a community, so you might find someone giving you the heads up before you try shaking their hand.

Last but not least…

8. Most people are nice. Aside from the occasional unhelpful twerp, the majority of people are going to be friendly, maybe a little shy, perhaps bouncy about their research, will probably be more than willing to go for a drink with you or introduce you to their group of friends. And your chances of meeting the nice people are MUCH higher than your chances of meeting an ass.

These rules apply in all manner of different situations. Generally, ‘networking’ as I interpret it means ‘meeting interesting, friendly people with whom I can have a good discussion about something’. So whether you’re at an ambassador’s reception or a friend’s house party, there’s potential. Take it from one who started terrified, and now goes into these things with an extremely mild trepidation mightily outweighed by excitement to see old friends and meet new ones. Enjoy the chance to have some really cool conversations with some excellent people. And at the end of the day, you can take all their contact details with you as you retreat back to your quiet little space to recover by yourself. Perfect.